Chariots of Fire

Today we enjoyed Chariots of Fire.  What an inspiration that movie is.  I must confess it has been many moons since I have watched it.  Some of  my favorite quotes personalized with second hand telling and Jodi perspective.  :)    I think we can  sensibly replace the verb "run" with what ever it is for each of us.  For me it happens to be  seeking and providing a world of meaning.  Psychologically this probably means somewhere along the line, I felt the lack of meaning, and therefore experience a need to create it.  I can finally say, "I am okay with that."

 " I believe God made me with a purpose and I intend to fill that purpose, ( pregnant pause) And He made me really fast.  When I run I feel His Pleasure with me.  I desire Him to take pleasure in me."    

"Many of you came here to watch a race.  You came here to watch my race.   I wish I could say that life is like a race.   But for many of you, you go home to your normal lives, to your work and to your jobs and you do not know what it is like to run.  To feel the high, the rush.  Yes it is a rush, and then it is over."

"I do not run because I want to or because it is my job.  I run because it is what I am compelled to do.  I must run I can not help myself."

Benjamin Button Beginnings?

I recently discovered that as an adopted child I did not have any photographs of myself.  This didn’t bother me until I discovered my lack  of desire to be in photographs.  I became sad as I was reflecting upon the years and noticed even as an adult I tried to stay out of pictures; now I wished I had been in them.  Though I was adopted as a high schooler and had a few pictures, they had burned up in my adopted families fire leaving me with nothing.  I have always known my birth grandmother; she had been a steady force in my life.  One day, I was crying and telling her that I do not have a clue of what I looked like as a child.  I wondered a couple of different things; one, did I look anything like my children? and two, did I look anything like what I look like today?

She told me that she would look for some pictures that might have been packed in storage.  The following day, my grandmother called me.  She had talked with my estranged biological father and he had some childhood pictures for me.   We decided the most efficient way to share them would be on Facebook.  So yet another redemptive factor in favor of Facebook and the unique way technology has changed my life.  So essentially another day passed with the scales slightly tilted in favor of keeping the  Facebook account open. :)  

What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar?

This seems like a simple enough question and a bit random to begin a post with.  I am thinking about ice cream and the importance that it has played in life.  Actually, food in general, I find it no surprise that the sharing a meal is considered a highly spiritual, primal and communal.  Food sustains us, it connects us, brings us pleasure and life can be deadly with out it.     One of my fondest memories is sharing a meal with a culturally diverse group of people, all having different religions with different life experiences eating around one table.  Everyone sharing smiles and nods as I passed around one of my favorite dishes, roasted sweet potato fries.  I often wonder what it was about this time that was so unique and so special.  My conclusion was simple; though we have different preferences, different beliefs, different journeys, ultimately we all have the same needs and longings.    We all need food; this is essential for our survival.  We all need love and to know that someone other than ourselves cares about us and for us.  We all long to feel uniquely loved, to be   “seen” and to be heard.  Sure some people can articulate this better than others.  Then there are some that have gone so long without this need being met that they can no longer hear or feel their own hunger pains for food and for love.    The alternative is those that feel like they are simply getting just enough food to get by, thus resulting in constant crying out, and complaining for more.  Honestly, I have been both.  I have learned over the years for myself and for my children to simply notice where I am at on the hunger wheel.  Am I hungry?  Am I bitter?  Am I crying out for more?  Have I taken the time to eat and to fill my own bucket?   What sort of things do I observe myself saying out loud, or in my head?   Often times these thoughts and feelings is something else!   Luckily they are transient in nature and controllable.  In the past I have convinced myself that they were all dependent upon my circumstances.    The truth is once I learned to act as my own observer I came to realize a few things.   It was always the same story, simply packaged differently.    The older and more educated I became the fancier the packaging became.  The bottom line is we are all motivated by hunger, for both food and for love.  In an odd way we are always asking what would I do for a Klondike bar.